Religion and Spirituality

So, if I'm a soulbonder and believe in fictionkin, what are my religious beliefs? The simplest way to put it is that I'm pagan! I worship many gods. My primary devotion and most of my prayers go to Zeus, my divine guide. I dedicate my life to his desires for me, as I view him as standing for justice and being a confident guiding hand. In turn, I also pay regular respect to Hera, which I started doing once I had my kids and connected to her as the goddess of family. I have also dabbled with praying to Ares as a way to manage my anger issues.

Additionally, I worship Norse gods; primarily, Odin and Thor. My relationship with them is a little weaker, as I haven't engaged with them for as long, but I'm working on earning their trust and respect. This became important to me once my parents and I merged households with my grandmother in 2020. I don't have a particularly close relationship with her or anything, and we actually don't get along very well at all, but she knew members of our family that immigrated to the US from Sweden and Norway, and still owns many of their heirlooms that come from those places. That really put my ancestry into perspective for me and made me feel a lot closer to where my blood comes from, and so I decided to connect to those old gods. My journey with paganism has been a bit on and off due to religious trauma (as a result of going to Catholic school which left me with a lot of religious gulit and a lot to work through), so I haven't made as much progress as I'd like, but I'm committed to making it work now! I've also tried to get into Celtic paganism for the same reasons, as the other side of my family is VERY Celtic, but I've felt even less of a response from them. I believe this is due to the lack of information on those gods since they've been so scrubbed from history, and not being able to know them clearly is something I mourn all the time.

I also dabble in connections to divine force from outside this universe. Being married to Anakin, I hold a lot of respect for the Force, and pay it respect regularly. We believe it is the Force that led him to me, knowing that we should be together and share our lives, and when he decided to come to me full time, it was the Force that freed him from his physical world and allowed him to come here. He's told me about that process of him surrendering to it and letting it take him through this bright tunnel that brought him home, and it's something that still leaves me in awe. I have experience with that major god from Alistair's universe, the Maker, and I'm still grappling with our complicated relationship. I also hold space for the gods from the Elder Scrolls universe, particularly Kynareth (I have a thing for sky gods obviously LOL), as it helps me soothe my intense longing for that world as a Serana kinnie. I'm dabbling with the D&D gods as well, particularly Lathander.

I know this all probably sounds like a lot, LMAO, but a lot of my religious beliefs stem from my personal conviction that one being can't handle everything. If I surrendered everything in my life to one diety, I think they'd get sick of my shit pretty quickly. I contain a lot, and so I divide the burden between many. Zeus always claims the bulk of my devotion, and I simply explore with everyone else. I use religion to connect to cultures and worlds, and study the concepts they represent and what they mean to me. It's what brings me the most peace and understanding in my mind and soul, and I think at its core, that's what a religious experience should be. There are moments where I get really unhealthily sucked back into Christian obligation and guilt, but Zeus always guides me home to my gods and practice, and that is where my joy resides <3 I hope my gods bless you for reading all this and you have a wonderful week!