Kinning

So let's talk about kinning! I've had a really on and off relationship with kinning. I laughed at it for a long time, to be honest. I had a brief experience with otherkin that changed my mind where I believed myself to be connected to northern goshawks! In a way, I still do feel that, I just haven't really taken the chance to explore it fully. It was trying to get involved with actual kin circles that really put me off, and I decided I didn't want anything to do with it for a time. My thoughts on this whole concept aren't 100% solid, but I can tell I don't experience it in the same way as a lot of other people. That's completely okay and valid and I don't belittlr anyone else's experience!! I just want the chance to embrace and explore what I feel on my own terms. To me, these are people that I see parts of myself in so strongly that I feel it to be a spiritual connection, and I believe us to at minimum share parts of a soul or for our lives and lessons to be mirroring each other intentionally. This isn't like a soulbond where I feel them around, because I feel I am one with these people.

In terms of fiction kin, it was Serana that really sparked something within me. I've loved Skyrim for a really long time and have felt so connected to the world in such a bone-deep way it almost hurt sometimes that I wasn't there. But I didn't feel attached to any of the people! Until I finally played Dawnguard. The details are pretty personal, so I'll hold back on that for now (though I may open up more about it later), but certain aspects of her life felt so weirdly mirrored to mine it almost just couldn't be a coincidence. I felt so one with her that I just couldn't help but wonder if our lives were woven together somehow. I think they are. I think we're entwined so deeply there's nothing else to really call us but the same soul. Parts of our souls are the same, at least. Other than that, I'm still figuring it out. I just know that we're the same.

Link was another huge kin awakening for me. It kind of started as a joke to myself, what with him being silent and me being also extremely quiet irl, LOL. I know I'm yapping a lot here, but in person, I do basically carry myself like Link in most situations. I really CAN'T talk unless I really really have something to say. I like to just keep my nose down and get to it. This also came about at a time when I was really questioning my gender, and to connect to a guy in such a way felt so fated. I really pushed it down and disconnected from it for a while because he's SUCH a popular character that sometimes it feels like I can't really claim him as mine. In a lot of ways, his popularity has sort of robbed him from me. But I don't want to shy from it here. I see myself mirrored in him and I'd like to figure out what that means to me more. (Fun fact, this all came about because I started maining young Link in Smash LMAO)

Keyleth is an interesting case. I've long been a fan of Critical Role, but I found it difficult to keep up with campaign 1 and only caught bits and pieces of her story in a way that made her feel very abstract to me. But then the animated series came out, and watching her felt like looking in a mirror. It awakened me. Her emotional state was... Mine, to put it simply. We are the same.

Casey is... A sad story. This one is quite a bit heavier and mentions death, so feel free to skip. If you're familiar with Night in the Woods, this one might surprise you, because he's not in the actual game at all. He's missing. Everyone thinks he's run away, but you later find out in the story that he's been killed and sacrificed by a cult. Everything you ever find out about him is that he just wanted more, more than his town, more than his life. He was chasing something different. He wrote a song that plays in the game called "Die Anywhere Else," and I'm sure it's not hard to figure out what it's about. I might post the lyrics at some point, just to give you a feel. But to tie it back to me, I've long felt that my entire life is defined by this constant dissatisfaction and longing to be anywhere but where I am, even when my life is liveable. You see the parallel, I'm sure. Our lives are defined by the same exact thing, and in that way, I can't help but feel that our lives are the same cycle, in a way, and if it's because we are incarnations of each other not learning from past life mistakes. It's food for thought.

Of all the people on this list, Emma is the one I'm most uncertain about being connected to, but I've had the thought, so I figured I'd mention it regardless! I've loved OUAT since I was a kid, and always loved Emma the most. But it wasn't until I started a rewatch as an adult that I realized how much a connected with her specific feelings of abandonment and self-doubt. I realized I would've reacted to her situation in the EXACT same way, and the trajectory her life gave me... Hope for myself, because I saw myself in her situation, in a way. And that's where we're at with that!

Anywho! That's my kinning experience. I'm sure I'll remember more I've repressed later LOL but that's whatI have for now! I'll use this site to explore it more as we go <3