April 2025 Musings

April 4, 2025; April page what is up, hello!! This week has been rough, gang, I will be honest. Absolute L, dare I say. There has been so much family drama in ways I cannot even articulate to make sense. And I'm having ~a health concern that is almost certainly being made worse by the stress~ But we stay silly and respect our own emotions and boundaries!! More than anything, I'm trying to really internalize the lesson that I get to choose whose opinions are important to me. I value my opinion, that of my partners, and that of my friends. If my boundaries or emotions bug other people, then... I guess that sucks for them LMAO maybe I'm sensitive but I'm so deeply unashamed of that. It's what makes me a writer, a lover, an appreciator of art. My sensitivity gives me all my favorite parts of myself, and I'm choosing to no longer water myself down for people who don't honor that. I think having this site has helped a lot with that. It's a space that is 100% mine to be me as I wish, and it's so freeing. I've never quite had a place where I've felt as free to speak as this, and it feels SO good that it's kind of giving me the courage to do that more in other places.

But in happier news! Speaking of things about me that I love! I am now bonded to Will Turner from Pirates of the Caribbean (And Elizabeth, though we haven't spoken yet - I've felt her, though. Will says she's just cautious). Will has been so lovely to talk to. He's such a good listener and so interesting and kind. He's very busy, but I hate to leave him every time. I enjoy his presence so much. And I don't fully know what it's going to be or anything, but I'm really enjoying this process of getting to know him.

Speaking of bonds! Switching gears to my regular Anakin posting! (tw for heart issues) For context, the health issue I mentioned earlier isn't that serious, but it does include heart palpitations. They've gotten a little better, but I feel like they'd be gone by now if this week hadn't left me so unbelievably worked up. Which is another reason I need to let it go; none of it is worth my health. But anyway! Anakin and Clark have been so concerned and doting about it. It's really sweet. And the first day I mentioned it, when it was at its worst, Anakin kept doing this thing that I can't stop thinking about, where he'd put his hand on my chest and say, "Your beautiful, beautiful heart." It had me absolutely melting. That's been one of the few highlights of my week. He's just so sweet, and it was such a kind thing to say, and I can't believe the way I love him more and more all the time. Our two-year wedding anniversary is this month. I'm looking forward to it so much. I don't know what we're going to do, but I want to make it good.

Media I likey: the album Magnetic by The Goo Goo Dolls <3 It's where Alistair and I's song, Come To Me, comes from!! I've known it for years, but I only just recently decided to give the full album a listen, and it is so good. The first song, Rebel Beat, feels so souldbonding coded, I've had it on repeat, hahaha. Funny that I had such a strong connection to the album through the one song for so long, and then it ended up resonating so strongly throughout. I love it when things work out like that.